Welcome Back Friends! I have been busy homeschooling my kids and working with clients but I don’t want to forget this awesome community so I wanted to pop on here and talk to you beautiful people.
Today we are going to address an issue that comes up with many of clients, my friends and even myself.
HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS FUNK?
I have gotten some great feedback from members of you in the community and I wanted to address one question in particular. This question is so relatable and I felt like it would be a great blog post.
Teresa from the community asks:
“I’m divorced after 27 years, I have 2 grown children and 2 beautiful grandchildren . I’m trying so hard to be a role model for each one of them. I used to be able to go and do tremendously. I was injured at work 17 years ago. During this time, my abilities and capabilities have dwindled down to do little. My question is ‘What can I do to bring back the heart and self-worth that has gotten buried due to unexpected turn in life?”
Teresa, I love your candidness and courage to reach out and ask this. So many women feel this way to some degree.
First I want to address the fact that YOU have worth and it doesn’t come from an outside source. It’s called self-worth — not outside of self-worth!The very best thing you can do to foster a better sense of self and get out of the terrible funk is to focus on what you CAN do.
You and many others are facing real and serious challenges that are not trivial so I don’t want this to come across as a Pollyanna response.
To give you some context I’ll share with you one of my low points.
I was feeling worthless and ugly and I honestly was at my personal rock bottom. I didn’t know how to stop basing my worth on what other’s thought of me. I was in this toxic cycle of trying to keep up with what the perception of me was and not developing myself in any meaningful way. I realized I needed a hobby. Something just for me.
First, I decided I would take up modern calligraphy. I logged onto Pinterest, found some cute fonts, watched a few YouTube videos and I just used some Crayolas lying around and I just started to doodle and create cute sayings. I became a little obsessed with learning this new skill. Honestly, I never got super good at it but it woke something up in me but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Then this pandemic hit and we were all in total lockdown. I was once again hungry for that feeling of creating.
You guys, I ordered one of those diamond painting kits and I got to work putting it together. I would put on an audiobook or an inspiring YouTube video and get lost in creating something beautiful. It was tedious and it took forever but I eventually finished it.
It started with this little meaningless project but it got me thinking about creation. I was almost intoxicated with the idea of creating something bigger.
So I tackled a little project in my house and one thing led to another, I made a little playhouse in my basement for my kids.
That gave me the confidence to take on an intricate wall in my office. I want you to know that I did this almost completely by myself. I worked a table saw and finishing nail gun. I sparkled and puttied and painted. I asked for help when I needed it, but I didn’t depend on anyone to accomplish it for me.
This taught me how capable I am. It taught me that I love to create and I love to learn. When we feel depressed, I think it is a signal from our spirit that it’s time to take on something meaningful and create something.
We all have different abilities and limitations. It’s not about getting to same end point, it’s about progressing forward on the path we are on. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else and get busy developing YOU.
Doing these little projects and then the big ones, have taught me about what I truly desire from my life. I want meaning and connection. I want to contribute to my little household and society at large. I don’t want to just entertain my brain and never pick up the pen and create.
Your life may have taken an unexpected turn. I think everyone watching this right now can relate to that. We are all faced with challenges we wouldn’t choose.
That brings me to the most important point of this post:
Almost every friend and client I have feel frustrated with their lives because something they did not choose is dictating their happiness. Whether it’s financial hardship or a health issue of the loss of a loved one, we have to figure out a way to choose our lives and take responsibility for what we can.
This is the most difficult task but starting small and CHOOSING something that seems hard at first (like calligraphy or diamond painting) can empower you to CHOOSE your life and love your choices. Your choices, no matter what way you try to cut, landed you right where you are right now, for better or worse. So reframe your thinking patterns and throw a wrench in your status quo and begin to LOVE your choices from here on out. Even the mistakes.
One thing is for sure: YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE. You are divine and your potential lies beneath choices that are just ahead of you.
So what are you going to choose? And are you going to love it?
Like I say to my clients, I KNOW this is easier said than done. I have my own demons and past choices that I have a hard time finding any love for. I have been on the receiving end of others’ terrible choices. But I choose to embrace it all because I survived it and I even learned a thing or two…I’m still learning actually! And I’m stronger for it.
Choose your life right now. Let go of that shame and move forward knowing there are some amazing things ahead.
